Thursday

"How's it going?" says some guy in my class.

I reply back with the standard "Good thanks. And you?"

"Good. How'd you go with your exams?"

I drag my eyes away from the text book I'm currently reading. "Not too bad. How about you?"

At this point, dickfish over here should realise that this is me being polite, that I'm reading and not interested in getting to know one another better. In return, the polite thing to do would be to let me get back to my text book. We had our chit chat, now take your sandaled feet and receding hairline elsewhere, pal.
He continues, "I didn't have to sit exams, because I went to a Chinese university last year, and my credit points already blah blah blah and then in China it was really cool, and there was this guy who blah blah blah rich Chinese kids and they blah blah expensive clubs with blah blah blah driving down the highway at 160 k's blah."

You can always tell when someone isn't cool, because they will jump at any chance to try and tell you a "cool" story that reaffirms their coolness.
The way he eagerly told me about clubs in China, driving in BMWs in China, and how great his Chinese had become... in China, was, in a word, dickfishy.
It's especially dickfishy when such people start talking about topics they obviously have little to no experience in. Seeing this chap in a club would be as likely as seeing a beached whale: It could happen. And on the off chance it does, watching it struggle awkwardly in this foreign environment is just heart breaking.

Did I mention that this guy looks about 35? 35 year old white guy going clubbing in China. Fucking spare me.
Actually, he looks a lot like that dorky guy from Roadtrip, but older and balder.

I guess his story was meant to establish some kind of street cred. Like I was going to go around to other people and be like "Did you hear about What's-his-face (I don't know his name) and how hardcore he was in China? Man, that guy is so bomb!"
He even began finishing sentences with "fuck yeah, man!" and similarly 'hood' sounding expressions. What an asshole.
I drew this diagram of him because I hate him.