Step Up 3 : A movie review

Tonight I saw the Step Up 3 movie with my dad. Because we're cool like that. I'm 21, still living at home, and he's divorced with a million kids. Needless to say, we both enjoy the finer things.

But anyway, Step Up 3! Well!
You know how in The Brady Bunch Movie they had to get $20000 so they wouldn't lose their house to the bank or whatever? Well, that's exactly what's happening in Step Up 3. The only difference? The Brady Bunch Movie is a really cooool movie.

Baaaasically, these dancers live and train together in this studio. And they also live and breath dance. And guess what!? They haven't paid their rent! Because while dance alone may be able to sustain these guys, it's not a veritable currency, ya dig?
Soooo, they get this brill idea into their heads that they are gonna win "The World Jam"! And the prize money is exactly 20 million dollars or something.

The story line isn't something you should worry about. The dialogue, if you're over the age of 9, is probably gonna be your main area of worry.

I know, I know! I didn't go into this movie expecting well-written articulate dialogue. Trust me! Understandably the quality of the dialogue in a "dance movie" is inversely proportional to the dance scenes. Even so, this is me after every line:
I am exhausted from rolling my eyes all throughout this movie.

But Step Up 3 is not just a movie about winning a dance competiton per se. No. It's also a love story of sorts. I won't ruin it for you, but, there's a little romance thrown in for good measure. A guy and a girl who are both unsure of themselves, but help one another realise the other's potential. Let me just reiterate.

*scene from movie*

Girl: So why do you dance?

Guy: I guess, after my parents left-

Me:

The actual dancing, was cool. I'm not a dancer, so whatever. It looked nice. It was nice dancing. And after seeing this, I now know what key elements are absolutely vital in making a movie about modern dancers dancing to modern dance music.

1. Hip hop ...stuff.
   
2. Someone doing some kind of classical looking ballet type thing to give the impression that dancers respect all kinds of dance.


3. People doing head spins (and other... spins) on at least 4 separate occasions throughout the movie.


4. Someone doing backflips on at least 4 separate occasions, and at least twice during dance offs. (This rule applies for the Bring it On movies too)


5. Little kids acting like aggressive ghetto dancers. Because children in adult-like situations are adorable. Especially when they're wearing teeny tiny Adidas tracksuits or whatever.


6. Slow motion dancing.


7. Weirdly sped up dancing that kind of made it look like they skipped a couple of frames.


8. Odd sound effects added to dance moves. So as to have the viewer question whether people can dance with enough intensity so as to create 'whooshing' noises.


9. People doing this a lot:

Obviously they are not anteaters though. It was just hard finding a picture of someone actually doing this.

In summary, Step Up 3 played out like an extended episode of So You Think You Can Dance. But with dance scenes that have been rehearsed and shot well... with lighting and cued music. SO much better, but still so shit.

Note: Oh and there was this guy who had no lines (thank Jesus) but just did the robot. The robot. In every scene he was in, even one where he wasn't necessarily meant to be dancing, he stayed true to being a "robot".