19.8.10

Selected texts received today

11:37 am
Ok so in the vain and I mean vain due the excessive amount of time I spent checking my reflection in the windows of The Tribal Theatre, attempt that The Runaways were still playing I made the discovery of a lifetime Homeless people love me and that the Human centipede is coming soon. Take me take you take take take.

12:29pm
I take pride in that. Point of the message was Human Centipede?

12:45pm
They swarmed him like locusts. He happily let them ravage his backpack, all the while making good conversation. When he ran out of food and walked away, the ungrateful gulls didnt even spare him a second glance.

12:45pm
I think I just met Jesus.

1:05pm
Well done, I see they don't call you liam "the deducer" (redacted last name) for nothing. No, im wearing black pants. And a baby-blue collared shirt thats two sizes too big for me. BABY. FUCKING. BLUE. i know right? Excuse me while I gouge out my intestines with this butter knife.

2:25pm
Well, he hates gays (or doesn't actually acknowledge them) and women. So you're fine. Unless you're actually gay and a woman. In which case, don't go to Iran.

2:46pm
Hahahahaha ur coke nail never fails to crack me up. Get it?

3:11pm
So marinating my breasts is ok but I went too far when I mentioned my hair.

3:24pm
Pose pose pose! Ok the Kodak moment has probably gone by now. But still. Always refer back to this text anytime u feel unsure about posing.

Conclusion: What do I actually do at uni?

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