20.8.10

Most people who grew up in the 90's agree that this was an absolutely terrifying show. When I first saw "Are You Afraid of the Dark?" written in the TV guide I thought it was some kind of self-help programme. I mean, it was Nickelodeon. Nothing was scary on Nickelodeon. It only brought me joy. Naturally I thought Nickelodeon would want to provide me with an instructional guide on how to eradicate my fear of the dark. How I was wrong.
I can distinctly remember watching episodes just up until they got scary (like 6 minutes in) and then turning it off. Once (the first time I decided to watch it, still under the assumption it was going to make me impervious to fear) I went too far and watched for about 8 minutes... and the things I saw. Things that ensured I didn't sleep well for months.
Most people naturally turn and roll over when they sleep. The body naturally shifts itself into a comfortable position, multiple times during the night.
However, terrified that I would be attacked by "Are You Afraid of the Dark" monsters, I had to override this natural bodily function. In order to keep a constant vigilant guard over my room,
I slept on my back, for months on end, under the belief that if for one second I let my guard down, roll over into a more comfortable sleeping position and expose my back, I would die.
I would go to sleep lying on my back, and would wake up 8 hours later, stiff as a board in the same position. I would be semi-conscious in the middle of the night, my body pleading to roll over into a more comfortable position, my spine screaming to gently curve into a more relaxed shape, my face yearning to rest side-ways on the pillow... but NO. Not on my watch. I will not give monsters such an easy target!
These days I hate sleeping on my back. I spent all those months doing it non-stop, and now I just can't. Even on the rare occasion when I feel terrified about the paranormal, I'm like "Fuck it, I would rather die,' because sleeping on my stomach is so much more comfortable.

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