Uh, Liam sea cow

She's been present at all the milestones in my life, from my birth, to forging my name on university attendance roles, lending me her perfume to hide the scent of my own vomit down my jeans, to buying me a priceless piece of Beverley Hills 90210 memorabilia. She has been a constant fixture in this rag-tag world of late nights and non-existent mornings. A 'rock' or pillar of support, if you will. She almost always wears black, doesn't even come from Brisbane and recently discovered a dead body in her shady southern suburb.
Her name is Nikki and she turned 21 on Wednesday. Naturally we celebrated over pancakes. This is us in 2008.

Here the 2 of us re-enact Saving Private Ryan. It was a stellar performance and at just over 170 minutes, we busted out this jazz number. I'm super smiley and she's being all "I'm an artist" and not even looking at the camera.

Other than the basics ( She's a single[kinda] white[sorta] female[by default] ) she's also a student majoring in Indonesian language and that subject where you insult people at an audible level. Utilizing these skills she hopes to one day meet Terry Richardson and ask him to "suck my big black cock". And who are we to step on such dreams? It is after all only 3 days after her birthday.