House guest: Oh my!!!
Me: Yes! That is real marble.
House guest: A real marble kitchen bench!? With an elevated glass serving table!? With a naked woman!? It's exquisite.
Me: It's Italian marble. The proper way to clean it is with the butt cheeks of a woman. It's decreed by the Pope that this is Italian heritage listed marble and we must clean it as per proper custom. I'm going through women's butt cheeks faster than I'm going through ordinary paper towel and Ajax Spray 'n' Wipe. But when you see the sheen on this marble, you'll agree it's worth it.
oh my gosh!! your blog is friggin hilarious!!
ReplyDeleteim glad i happened across this today.
i needed some "peekachu in the shower" right now... lol