Houseguest: Hey Liam, where do you want me to put this playing card?Me: Just chuck it on the coffee table.
Houseguest: Uhhh... Do you mean that lady lying upside down against the wall over there?
Me: The coffee table.
Houseguest: The coffee table? The coffee table.... in the silver bikini?
Me: Are you here to critique the interior goddamned decorating or are you going to put the card on the goddamned coffee table?
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