exert from chapter 2

"Holy mother of God! That's the biggest crab I've ever seen," said the doctor as he excavated what he said was 'the biggest crab he'd ever seen' from my genitals.
Crabs, as I'm led to believe is a very common sexually transmitted disease. So I didn't feel at all embarrassed. I guess, being a prostitute really boosts your self esteem or something, because I felt great.
"Sooo... you're a doctor, hey? That must be nice," I said, lying on the examination table covered in my own blood as the doctor continued to battle the crab colony that was festering all over my genitals.
"Yes... it's fine. I guess," the doctor replied, playing hard to get.

"But it must be hard. All that hard work. So hard. I bet you just want to... relax every now and then, huh?" I continued.

"Yeah, I guess. What are you getting at?"

"BJ's $7, anything else is 15 for half an hour."


-award exploding literature, Liam's phantasmagorial new novel; "My Life as a Prostitute"