You see, I have this zebra print hat...

Chapter 1

First night as a hooker

It was rough and tough. And that was just the surface of my poorly shaven genitals. I didn't have the funds for a Brazilian, and even if I had, I still would have shaved my balls with that broken light bulb I had just lying around.
You see, my mother had this joke, "Anyone who's ever said Brazilians are nice people clearly have never had one of their waxes." And I hated my mother. Obviously. That was why I was a prostitute.

- exert from Liam's phenomenal No.1 best seller "My Life as a Prostitute"