2.9.09

Is it better to be seeing someone you like for practical reasons, or for reasons unknown, mysterious and seemingly all the more romantic? Why is it everyone out there labels practicality as unsexy?
Case in point: Your boyfriend is a tomato. His practical use? He can be used to simulate gums in an ad for soft toothbrushes.
Other uses? Food. But that is incredibly impractical. Eat him and he'll be gone. Back to single life for you. But how romantic! A moment of passionate, tomatoy love and then he's gone.

It's like that stupid movie about a dumb slut who moves to a new town, befriends a family of vampires and falls in love with one.
Love stories between vampires and humans, humans and tomatoes, cats and mice, fire and firewood.
Everyone's into it because;
  1. Prepubescent girls as consumers/economic driving force set trends
  2. It's highly impractical and people are into that
On the other hand, relationships with practical uses are PRACTICAL. How nice does that sound?
Case in point: Your girlfriend is a waffle iron. Yay for you, waffles when ever she's not being a bitch to you! That could seriously mean up to 1 serving of waffles per week!!!!!! How can this not be good!?!?
You love her because, she gives you sweet waffles. But if you mess with her, you'll get burnt. If you drop her in the bathtub while she's plugged in, you'll get electrocuted. If you neglect her, she'll get all crusty and your waffles will be all nasty. (Ew!)
Doesn't that sound like a REAL relationship?
Not some mystical fairytale slop about a vampire and a loser cavorting around eachother in an endless Enya music video.

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